Jonas Sykes.net

  

wow, I am shaking at how angry I am.

I wrote this while I was on hold with this wonderful company

This piece will be called
“Asurion and why it makes no fucking sense whatsoever!”

First of all why do you buy insurance on anything? Well if you are like me you pay for insurance because you try to protect your investment.

I am a current Verizon Wireless customer and I am currently an Asurion Cell Phone Insurance customer (ie: they recieve a charitable donation of 5.00 a month from me) The only stumbling block in dealing with these people is that in the event that your phone is actually broken and you get to use their service you have to pay a flat rate fee of 50.00 well if you are pretty proficient in simple multiplication you can see that 5 X 12 + 50 = 120 now this is only a suggestion of the type of situation you may encounter for me this is pretty much right on the money (literally.) Let me say a few more things real quick about Asurion their little java bullshit at their website http://phoneclaim.com/ when submitting a claim forces you to use Internet Explorer and then not even to step 2 it says you have to check your email to complete the steps…well guess what I did and once I clicked “Resume Claim” I get the same screen about how they have to email me…WTF!? So can I ever file a claim? I figured I might try calling:

I am trying out right now, I am on hold right now it’s been 15:27 and every couple of seconds it let’s me know all about their website (thanks assholes)

I have to wonder as I sit here if they are even open?

19:17 finally got someone who sounds like they are half asleep named Shaquessa or some made up nonsense.

hey did you know that well apparently if I ask not to be placed on hold they cannot complete the claims process. “I can’t forget about you this is my job” wow congrats what a great job too!

what the fuck?!

yeah no never again…might as well put the 5 dollars a month away in a savings account and can buy a new phone in half the time.

15 days to receive the phone or I get charged 175.00 automatically….

so I ask for the address where I can send the phone

WELL SIR WE ARE SENDING YOU AN ENVELOPE….

no, I don’t want it I want the address I want a delivery confirmation…

Asurion Phone Claims (I am guessing)
po box 9998
smyrna tn 37167

wooooow what a fucking bitch apparently I am asking to much to have things spelled out to me!?

apparently sarcasm and telling me I am having a bad morning is standard protocol.

Debra the all too helpful robotic supervisor can’t help either and doesn’t know who transferred her…REALLY!?

whoa I will never do business with this company after this little encounter.

what a scam, after I get my new phone I am so over this…hey Asurion FUCK YOU!